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Power Struggles at Mealtime? Let's be honest. Have you ever felt that parenting was a losing battle? You do what you think is best, but the end result is frequently a battle and a temper tantrum, sometimes thrown by you. Lately, my 5 year old son and I have been experiencing this more often than I care to admit. He is defiant and persistent and wears me down until I start doubting my parenting skills. Yet, surprisingly, we have been doing remarkably well during dinner, the venue of struggle for many other families. Instead of sitting down to a pleasant meal, parents are frequently bombarded with complaints about the food being served. Worn down by repeated objections, weary parents comply with the wishes of their children and give them alternatives, such as yogurt, frozen fish sticks, chicken nuggets and macaroni and cheese. Don't be disheartened. Be proud. You have such intelligent children! They know that if they are persistent enough, they will get what they want. Why should they eat what is being served if they can have whatever they want afterwards? Look at this as a learning opportunity. We have already seen that persistence usually pays off - but remember that it goes both ways! It usually takes between 8-12 exposures of a new food before people will enjoy it. So, be smarter than they give you credit for. Give them their dinner and nothing else. Eventually, if they are hungry enough, they will eat it. Don't worry that Child Protective Services will come knocking on your door - no child has ever willingly starved himself to death when there is food available. How did I manage to avoid a riot when implementing these ideas?
For now, I'll chalk up our success at the dinner table to my years of experience teaching cooking classes to children. This seems to be the only area in which I can avoid power struggles with my son, and don't catch myself saying the words that I swore I would never say "Because I said so!" He eats because he wants to. He eats because he likes it. And best of all, he eats because he helped to make it himself. |
